Service

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Step Twelve

Service is a gift you give yourself.

If you want to be of service in LAA, come to the International Business Meeting. If you simply want to host a meeting, contact the host of the meeting you are interested in.

Old Proverb: A man named Jacob used to walk down the street every day and stop to admire his neighbor's garden. He always said, "God created such a beautiful garden." One day the gardener said, "Yes, he did, but you should have seen it when he had it all to himself."

A well-known spiritual axiom says to “keep it we must give it away”.

And we don’t need to have very much in order to pass it on. In LAA, as in most 12-Step programs, service and carrying the message is the spiritual foundation of our program. Even newcomers have something to offer others. Still, since many love addicts are also codependent, we cannot ignore the fact that in early recovery there may be a fear of service. Will it be draining? Didn’t I do too much in my last relationship? Shouldn’t I just be taking care of myself right now?

These are all valid questions. Moreover, LAA cannot survive without service and if you do it in moderation it not only feels good, it is good for your self-esteem. Most psychologists agree that altruism is linked to feelings of self-worth. Just remember: moderation in all things. So if you are a member of LAA, we encourage you to share your experience, strength and hope with others, even if you don’t think you have anything to offer, and even if you think you have already done enough good deeds to last a life time. You will not regret it.


Some of you may have begun your recovery in a treatment program where you graduate and move on. Studies show that without the follow up that comes with service you are more likely to relapse.

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to others…

Step Twelve

Each group has but one primary purposeā€”to offer a safe place to recover from love addiction and to carry the message of recovery to those who still suffer.

Tradition Five

No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear…

p. 84, Alcoholics Anonymous

While service is only a suggestion, it is like suggesting that you put on a parachute before you jump out of a plane.